This is just a quick one to say sorry for being a cunt and not blogging, not really been in the blogging mood recently even though there has been so much to write about.
Anyway if you’re wondering what my title is about last night when I got home from watching Arsenal kill Villarreal. Janine came round for a bunk up and I was doing particularly well lasting longer than my usual 60seconds, I will put this down to the alcohol consumed previously. Feeling rather pleased with myself I decided to mix things up a little and reached for the baby oil as thought it would be funny to squirt it on her, I squeezed way too hard miss aimed and shot her right in the face, in the mouth up the nose and in the eye. BANTER!!!! I should have felt bad as I had just ruined the moment but it was honestly one of the funniest things I have ever seen, watching her jump up chocking and run to the toilet with her eyes closed.
Thursday 16 April 2009
Tuesday 27 January 2009
Dead Man
I’ve just found an article about the dead man I saw on Friday. At least it wasn’t murder we can all feel a little bit safer walking around Ruislip now. Article Below:
Popular man dies of heart attack in Ruislip Manor
A WELL-loved man died of a heart attack in Ruislip Manor following an argument in a betting shop.
Paul Swallow, 58, known to friends as Yorkie, died at about 6.30pm near Elachi restaurant in Shenley Avenue on Friday (23).
His partner of 10 years, Patricia Buckley, who he lived with in Ruislip Manor, said: "There was a ruckus in Coral betting shop and he had a heart attack when he was walking to his car.
"He had coronary heart disease but he didn't know and he never complained to me about chest pains.
"This could have happened at any time. It was a heart attack waiting to happen because any bit of excitement could have caused it.
"I met him in JJ Moons in Ruislip Manor 10 years ago when he moved down here for work. We fell in love with each other and he moved in with me.
"He had lots of friends in Ruislip Manor and he was very funny.
"He came from a big family in Leeds; he was one of 10 children and he was very proud of where he came from.
"He used to drink in Hennessys and JJ Moons and also at The Bec Club next to the Church of the Most Sacred Heart in Pembroke Road."
The funeral will be held in Leeds but a date has not been set yet.
More information will be in the Ruislip & Northwood Gazette on Wednesday (28).Post your tributes on our forum.
Popular man dies of heart attack in Ruislip Manor
A WELL-loved man died of a heart attack in Ruislip Manor following an argument in a betting shop.
Paul Swallow, 58, known to friends as Yorkie, died at about 6.30pm near Elachi restaurant in Shenley Avenue on Friday (23).
His partner of 10 years, Patricia Buckley, who he lived with in Ruislip Manor, said: "There was a ruckus in Coral betting shop and he had a heart attack when he was walking to his car.
"He had coronary heart disease but he didn't know and he never complained to me about chest pains.
"This could have happened at any time. It was a heart attack waiting to happen because any bit of excitement could have caused it.
"I met him in JJ Moons in Ruislip Manor 10 years ago when he moved down here for work. We fell in love with each other and he moved in with me.
"He had lots of friends in Ruislip Manor and he was very funny.
"He came from a big family in Leeds; he was one of 10 children and he was very proud of where he came from.
"He used to drink in Hennessys and JJ Moons and also at The Bec Club next to the Church of the Most Sacred Heart in Pembroke Road."
The funeral will be held in Leeds but a date has not been set yet.
More information will be in the Ruislip & Northwood Gazette on Wednesday (28).Post your tributes on our forum.
Monday 26 January 2009
My Weekend
I would just like to start this post with the wonderful news that Andy Murray saw his hopes of winning his first Ever Grand Slam title go down the pan at the Australian Open today, big well done to Fernando Verdasco. I personally couldn’t be happier. I really wish everyone would stop sucking that skinny little prick’s dick.
So Friday night got off to an interesting start on my way to the station to meet J I could see a shit load of blue flashing lights in the little road opposite Budgins. As I walked past I took a look to see what all the commotion was about and to my horror I saw a lifeless body smack bang in the middle of the road with paramedics performing CPR on him. I didn’t hang around long as it wasn’t very nice to watch. What is annoying me though I can’t seem to find any news on this anywhere, which a bit annoying because I want to know what happened there are a lot of rumours flying around, the most common is the guy got stabbed outside moons and made it to where I saw him and died.
The same night there was also a huge fight in the shit hole known as the Manor House. My Friend Gemma ended up in A&E after she got hit in the face and her mate had his ear bitten off.
After four long years of waiting I got an invite to meet Daz’s Uni mates. Me and J went 4 a quickie before hand in On & On we asked for a pint of beer in stead we got piss. When we met up with Daz he took us on a tour of London’s Streets eventually ended up in the International bar. It was as a good night I found that Daz acts slightly differently around his Uni mates and I’m now questioning his sexuality? Another highlight was J’s new found love Alice, this was their 2nd time they’ve met and from what I’ve heard and seen they’ve hit it off both times. She’s invited him to Sway next week.
I also went to Area on Saturday night I would tell you want happened but I got so wasted and don’t remember a thing. I had football in the morning and my boss came to pick me up at 9. I was completely KO’ed and didn’t here my alarm or the knocks at the door or the phone calls. After 10mins he gave up at went without me. Luckily my boss is really decent and he’s cool about it.
This week is quite busy I’m out for a school disco student night tonight. Also going out with Gemma or Thursday for a catch up, she always gets me fucked on wine so I’m going to be very hung-over for work the next day. Also this week, I hope to play a bit more football manager with Alex over the net it’s really good fun especially as I’m kicking his bum.
So Friday night got off to an interesting start on my way to the station to meet J I could see a shit load of blue flashing lights in the little road opposite Budgins. As I walked past I took a look to see what all the commotion was about and to my horror I saw a lifeless body smack bang in the middle of the road with paramedics performing CPR on him. I didn’t hang around long as it wasn’t very nice to watch. What is annoying me though I can’t seem to find any news on this anywhere, which a bit annoying because I want to know what happened there are a lot of rumours flying around, the most common is the guy got stabbed outside moons and made it to where I saw him and died.
The same night there was also a huge fight in the shit hole known as the Manor House. My Friend Gemma ended up in A&E after she got hit in the face and her mate had his ear bitten off.
After four long years of waiting I got an invite to meet Daz’s Uni mates. Me and J went 4 a quickie before hand in On & On we asked for a pint of beer in stead we got piss. When we met up with Daz he took us on a tour of London’s Streets eventually ended up in the International bar. It was as a good night I found that Daz acts slightly differently around his Uni mates and I’m now questioning his sexuality? Another highlight was J’s new found love Alice, this was their 2nd time they’ve met and from what I’ve heard and seen they’ve hit it off both times. She’s invited him to Sway next week.
I also went to Area on Saturday night I would tell you want happened but I got so wasted and don’t remember a thing. I had football in the morning and my boss came to pick me up at 9. I was completely KO’ed and didn’t here my alarm or the knocks at the door or the phone calls. After 10mins he gave up at went without me. Luckily my boss is really decent and he’s cool about it.
This week is quite busy I’m out for a school disco student night tonight. Also going out with Gemma or Thursday for a catch up, she always gets me fucked on wine so I’m going to be very hung-over for work the next day. Also this week, I hope to play a bit more football manager with Alex over the net it’s really good fun especially as I’m kicking his bum.
Tuesday 20 January 2009
My First Blogg
This is a pure moment of spontaneity as I never thought I would start a blogg and I’m sure none of my friends did either, but today after reading all their bloggs, which I thoroughly enjoyed, I think I may of caught the bug. Just to pre warn everyone my spelling and grammar is pretty piss poor so please excuse any mistakes, I will try my best.
I’m in my office at the moment and really should be doing some work but this seemed way more appealing. I’m an accounts assistant 4 a mental health company, which does make my job a little bit more interesting than the average accounts job. I usually have a few good stories to tell of the antics of the mental patients, one that springs to mind is the girl who pierced holes in some battery’s and swallowed them resulting in a quick dash to Hospital to save her life. I dare to think of the pain battery acid causes as its burning away in your stomach.
Something else that may interest you a rather unusual situation has accrued at work over the last few days I’m being pursued by 35year old women bare in mind I’m only 23 she’s pinged me a few emails, which are very forward to say the least. Ill do a post on her in the short future.
I’m back in the game after a few weeks off over the Christmas period I some how managed to lose ¼ of a stone of muscle??? Which to say the least I was not happy about. Despite previous efforts to gain I’ve always hovered around the 10 ½ stone mark, which is not very Dorian. So with a new lease of life I’m back and I’m doing it properly this year. I’m taking my mate J’s advice and I’ve start stuffing my face. I started this on Friday and I’ve been eating 6-7 meals a day. I’ve felt extremely full the last few days and almost been sick a few times (think my body telling me not to put anything else in). 1st Target is to see if I can make it over the elusive 11stone mark. Then maybe one day ill be as stacked as Andy Murray LOL. I’ll keep you updated.
I'm hoping a lot of Alcohol fuelled bent will provide my blogg with its finest moments. So for the benefit of the blogg I will try my best to go out as often as I can and drink as much possible. One quick story, which I’m sure the people that know me will find amusing. I attended an 18th birthday on Friday. I can imagine they are laughing already. True to form I pulled the hottest girl at the party a stunning blonde. Also true to form she was 17. I have a bit of a reputation for going for young girls but even I’m a bit ashamed of this one, for those of u who can do the maths the difference is 6 years. I think I may turn down the next 18th birthday invite I may be too old for them now especially as I cant seen to control myself.
Anyway I don’t want to ramble on and bore u your learn more as I post. This is a new year with new adventures lets see what happens.
I’m in my office at the moment and really should be doing some work but this seemed way more appealing. I’m an accounts assistant 4 a mental health company, which does make my job a little bit more interesting than the average accounts job. I usually have a few good stories to tell of the antics of the mental patients, one that springs to mind is the girl who pierced holes in some battery’s and swallowed them resulting in a quick dash to Hospital to save her life. I dare to think of the pain battery acid causes as its burning away in your stomach.
Something else that may interest you a rather unusual situation has accrued at work over the last few days I’m being pursued by 35year old women bare in mind I’m only 23 she’s pinged me a few emails, which are very forward to say the least. Ill do a post on her in the short future.
I’m back in the game after a few weeks off over the Christmas period I some how managed to lose ¼ of a stone of muscle??? Which to say the least I was not happy about. Despite previous efforts to gain I’ve always hovered around the 10 ½ stone mark, which is not very Dorian. So with a new lease of life I’m back and I’m doing it properly this year. I’m taking my mate J’s advice and I’ve start stuffing my face. I started this on Friday and I’ve been eating 6-7 meals a day. I’ve felt extremely full the last few days and almost been sick a few times (think my body telling me not to put anything else in). 1st Target is to see if I can make it over the elusive 11stone mark. Then maybe one day ill be as stacked as Andy Murray LOL. I’ll keep you updated.
I'm hoping a lot of Alcohol fuelled bent will provide my blogg with its finest moments. So for the benefit of the blogg I will try my best to go out as often as I can and drink as much possible. One quick story, which I’m sure the people that know me will find amusing. I attended an 18th birthday on Friday. I can imagine they are laughing already. True to form I pulled the hottest girl at the party a stunning blonde. Also true to form she was 17. I have a bit of a reputation for going for young girls but even I’m a bit ashamed of this one, for those of u who can do the maths the difference is 6 years. I think I may turn down the next 18th birthday invite I may be too old for them now especially as I cant seen to control myself.
Anyway I don’t want to ramble on and bore u your learn more as I post. This is a new year with new adventures lets see what happens.
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